I identify with the underdog and I love helping them. They can win.
The good guys can win, and do well if they have the right tools. A lot of good people toil in obscurity because they don’t want to get into the mess to succeed. They think they have to get down and dirty and ruthless to get ahead. I think that’s a myth, and I want to help those who want to do it the right way..
I don’t believe in absolutes—having to do things in one specific way—but rather using guiding principles. We’re all the same in the sense we have basic values, basic needs and we’re all correct in the way we do things that’s right for us. I’m not here to convince people their way is wrong and my way is right. I help people be the best they can be, using their own code, using their own technical manual.
At the core, we’re all perfect. Like seeds, the code is in us from birth for what we’re going to become. As we go through life, people and circumstances put layers of paint on us and cover the beauty that’s there. We need to strip the paint to get to our core and get to our best selves.
We’re taught that it’s selfish to do what we want to do. Thus, we put ourselves through negative ego trips. I think we need to put away that baggage. When we can do that, we can really enjoy our lives and really make a difference for others.
I had a bit of a combative session with a client once, who was facing some difficult challenges, but offering up excuse after excuse to justify their behavior. I had to confront them on it and found myself a little more assertive about why they were failing to do what they had committed to doing.
There was an awkward silence and our session ended soon after. Was I too hard? Did I push them too far? I believe that they needed to hear it, but I wasn’t certain it they wouldn’t end our coaching relationship because of it.
But before the next session, they confirmed they would be there. The first thing the client said was “Thank you for telling it like it was and saying it straight. I finally put into action what I’d only been talking about doing, and now I’m in a better place and can see the possibilities.”
Sometimes, as coaches, we have to push. We have to be willing to do it and not hold back. We’re here to make changes. It’s not always warm and fuzzy. If my clients aren’t uncomfortable sometimes, how will they change and see any benefits?
If you need to be pushed and if you’re brave enough to go to some uncomfortable places, let’s have a conversation.